Friday, August 26, 2011

Open Letter to Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn


 

August 25, 2011

The Honorable Michael Patrick McGinn
Mayor of Seattle
Mayor’s Office
P.O. Box 94749
Seattle, WA 98124-4749


Dear Mayor McGinn,

          It has become apparent to most informed observers that your political career, and by extension, the city which you govern, are in deep trouble.  I’m aware that the favorability ratings of city officials often fluctuate wildly, and the good and honest voters of Seattle in particular can be quite fickle, but EMC Research’s summer opinion poll measuring your favorability rating at 23% is unnerving to say the least.
          That’s only one point more popular than Dubya when he finally abandoned the White House, Mr. Mayor.  And while you were never responsible for anything as odious as, say, helping to drown what’s been called “the least annoying French place on earth,” that certainly says something about the electorate’s perception of your leadership.  And in politics, of course, perception is everything.
           You’ve fought the good fight, valiantly throwing yourself in the path of a dangerous and expensive boondoggle in order to protect the people you swore an oath to serve, yet most are annoyed by your heroic and principled stand.  It shouldn’t have turned out like this, but the big money developers and their creatures in public office have won the day.  Their pet mega-project will go through, the widest deep-bore tunnel in the world, dug through easily liquefiable rubble-fill along a waterfront in an earthquake-prone city, complete with tolls, costing the taxpayers billions while vital health services are being slashed across the state in the name of “fiscal discipline.”
         When I bring this up to the average voter, they blink, cringe, and begin to shout, “Ridiculous!  Who could possibly swallow such a scam?  And what clique of sociopathic troglodytes would have the gall to push it?”
          We both know the answer to the latter question: the entire local political estab- lishment, namely, the one you shattered in part when your team of bicycle folk captured the Mayor’s Office a year and a half ago, in one of the greatest feats of grassroots organizing in the history of Seattle.  It was a glorious day, but in retrospect it should’ve been clear that the grinning dimwits on the City Council would reject you like an emergency baboon heart transplant.  You’re idealism was simply too foreign, however necessary for the health of the city.
          As for those who went along with the tunnel, well, 59% approval in a city-wide referendum does sound pretty decisive.  It’s going to be built, but not because 59% of the people actually look forward to a consortium of contractors co-owned by a major war profiteer (and Democratic Party campaign contributor) tying up traffic for the next several years.  They voted to approve the tunnel because they were tired of waiting for something to happen.  As every snake oil salesman knows, people often prefer the wrong solution to no solution.
           The surface option was a beautiful dream, but a dream only a few of us could fathom.  While downtown business interests had the advantage of money, the town’s only print news daily, and big name politicos, who or what was amplifying our message?  Sure we had the Stranger, as fine a commercial rag as one can probably hope for, but not everyone reads the Stranger.  Moreover, not everyone reads.  Our only advantage would have been the ground war, an army of door-knocking volunteers bypassing the corporate noise machine altogether, making the case not simply against the tunnel, but for the surface option.
               All in the past, of course.  Opportunities missed, lessons learned.  I myself took a whack at the tunnel in a reputable British journal, but as history shows us time and time again, the English can be slippery, and have minimal leverage over municipal affairs this side of the Atlantic.  I would have preferred to have helped organize the people of my beloved Seattle on a face-to-face basis instead, one alienated voter at a time.  But traveling writers are notorious for their inability to be everywhere at once, and unfortunately I too suffer from this dreadful affliction.
           So where are we now?  A well-intentioned Mayor with a 23% approval rating, that’s where.  It’s time to move on from this high-profile defeat of ours as quickly as possible.  We all want light rail, better schools, rational city planning, elevated pedestrian-only vacuum tubes, and a decent nightlife, but those things have a long gestation period, and by the time they get noticeably advanced the Chamber of Commerce might have coughed up a challenger shiny enough to take your job.
              We can’t let that happen.  I met the last Mayor at a cocktail party in Washington, D.C. a couple years back, and although I have my suspicions it was really a pink gorilla in a business suit, he was so evasive and eager to flee the proles around him that it was clear to all present just what kind of a politician he was.  Apes don’t get shifty at the sight of an outstretched hand.  Nor do they scheme with big business to put a city at risk with ill-conceived construction projects.  Weasels do, and Seattle can bear their influence no longer.
             Your popularity will no doubt rebound as the tunnel debate fades from the mind of the electorate, but the villains in our midst will do what they can to resurrect it at every turn.  With that in mind you’d do well to aggressively shift the topic of conversation to other ideas of a more digestible scale.  The Seattle Jobs Plan unveiled by your office a year ago was and is a noble pursuit, but perhaps too technical to generate the kind of headline you need for a lift in the polls.  Least of all in August, when voters busy themselves more with burgers and getting the kids out of the house than with parking regulations and reduced permit intake times.
              This September, I’d respectfully suggest that you knock the haters off-balance with a surprise initiative of your own.  Here’s an idea: a hefty annual registration fee on foreclosed property.  This would not only bring in revenue, it would fall on the comparatively wealthy, clarify ownership of abandoned buildings, and compel the leaches of finance to think twice before giving poor families the boot.  In addition to branding you as proactive on the economy, housing might even become more affordable by penalizing speculators for withholding residential units from the market, thereby also freeing up discretionary income to be spent on goods and services.  Then I could get that penthouse in Pioneer Square I’ve always wanted, and you could come over for whiskey and corned beef, and we could sing and fight, just as we proud members of the Diaspora do so well.
   Just be sure to announce your bold plan after the school year starts and families have settled in for the autumn, maybe September 12th or so.  If that’s not in the cards, at least tell Parks and Recreation to use rakes instead of leaf-blowers.  Not quite as visionary, I know, but one of many token reforms you could be implementing one week at a time to remind the good and honest people of Seattle that although you’ve had your differences, you’re still the Mayor, and doing what you can to make their lives better.  Good luck on the remainder of your term, and onward to the next.


Sincerely,

XXXXXXXX
Citizen

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Live From the Epicenter: Part III


My health began to deteriorate after a few days in Madison.  Sleep was hard to come by and my appetite remained unforthcoming.  I aspired to full coverage, and spent most of my time trudging around the icy streets trying to be everywhere at once.  Occasionally I’d grant myself asylum in a café and fill up on tea or coffee with my notebook in front of me, trying to stay awake.  Muscles grew sore and waves of sometimes enjoyable lightheadedness came and went with increasing frequency.
I often toyed with the idea of passing out in the University library or a restaurant bathroom stall for a couple of hours.  Maybe even a park bench next to a nearby frozen lake.  The key deterrent was my bag, stuffed as it was with many indispensable tools and a dwindling bundle of carrots from which I refused to be separated.  Falling asleep now would knock me into a coma immediately, leaving my sack at the mercy of any cruel prankster or mettlesome hobo who happened to wander by.
Better to endure this discomfort than risk theft, or even worse, failure in my quest to catalogue the Battle of Madison.  Nothing less than the future of the American middle class was at stake, and the heavy fatigue setting in could not be allowed to sabotage a proper on-the-ground analysis, organ failure or no organ failure.  I could sleep when I was dead.  Until then, a mild psychosis was a small price to pay to fully observe the first great American rebellion of the Twentieth-first Century.
If the unions lost in a liberal state like Wisconsin, then they could be broken anywhere.  This refrain could be overheard wherever more than three people gathered in public, whether I was squinting through gusts of biting wind wafting off the lakes or sitting indoors trying to get the circulation to return to my toes and fingers.  The road to wage-slavery, where powerless individuals bid down each others’ standard of living for fear of losing work, went through Madison.  The people there knew it, and it was a testament to their higher instincts that they were willing to step out of the warmth of their homes to help struggle for the common good.
Yet while this impressive upsurge in popular organizing enveloped the town, its fundamental character remained the same as always.  Madison’s heart beat proudly to its own rhythm, and the ongoing protests were less a deviation from local values than their timely amplification.  Nice, but fun, was the name of the game here: a mindset amicable enough for neighbors to frankly discuss the issues of the day without the conversation degenerating into acrimonious shouting, and creative enough to make the daily toil of political participation enjoyable.
This laudable spirit deserved to be investigated further, and my hosts facilitated my inquiry by offering to take me out on the town one evening.  I was in pretty rough shape by nightfall, still sleep deprived and further worn out from the constant bustle of being outdoors.
“Hell yes,” I croaked, fighting the urge to crumple into a pile.  “Let’s wade deeper into the soul of this beast.”
They led me out into the darkness and past the Capitol, the dome of which was illuminated by lights hidden on the rooftops of its four adjoining wings.  Security guards ringed the building and told us not to walk too close to the doors.  Maybe it was just the knowledge that a gang of autocratic brutes was ruling from within, but against the pitch black sky the Capitol looked as eerie and imposing as some kind of imperial command center.  Lord knows what sinister decree would emanate outward by morning.
After a brief debate over whether Governor Walker had an escape pod installed on the premises, we arrived at the pub with only ten minutes left to its fabulous weekly deal of two beers for the price of one.  I quickly weaved through a lively crowd of young people singing karaoke and ordered a couple of ales for myself before chatting with a young man whose father had gone to school with deposed Honduran President Manuel Zelaya.  He didn’t have any stories about his old man doing keg stands with Zelaya back during the López era, but saluted my choice of drink, something bitter called a Hopalicious.
The ale kept coming and the conversation drifted in and out of politics, a pleasant Canadian-esque cheer guiding the vibration.  The patrons kept up a steady litany on the karaoke machine, bellowing badly but playfully, as so often makes for the best of sing-alongs.  A lot of nodding and smiling ensued, with the most tanked bowing out before embarrassing themselves.  The whole scene played like an adults-only version of church, the parishioners dutifully offering tithes to the House and receiving liquid sacrament from Pastor Barkeep, who warmly presided over song and ceremony.  All were on their best behavior.
This was, I think, the essence of it.  Even calibrating for the lack of age and ethnic variation, the range of tastes and behavior was much narrower than the grand spectrum to which I’m accustomed.  A heavy politeness bound people together in enviable camaraderie, but softened the rough edges that so often provide a culture with its finest crop of freaks and geniuses.  No frowning poet slamming vodka in the corner or disoriented cowboy making a mess in the bathroom, nor excluded weirdo in clashing clothes, nor any missing teeth or track marks.  Those on the psychic margin were simply elsewhere.
What was responsible for this homogeneity?  Certainly the deep roots of the population had something to do with it.  When a few million people live in the same place for several generations, they mingle, adapt to similar circumstances, intermarry, and grow familiar with each other to the point where they even sound the same.  The Wisconsin accent is a likeable twist to any inflection, its tone presuming amity but casual enough to easily read as sincere.
“How lang are you going be to in Wiscansin for?” asked one of my hosts.
“Til Tuesday, or whenever Scott Walker lets me out of holding should things turn ugly,” I said.  “He strikes me as the trigger happy sort.”
My associates laughed uneasily.  Don’t derail the mood; keep chuckling in sync with the lighthearted murmur of the background.  The point of conversation is to weave the web of personal bonds tighter, not to challenge people until there’s an epiphany or repellant discomfort.  The oddball in these parts is more likely to be cordially absorbed into the herd than run out of town, at least at first…so accept the invitation and abstain from provoking an unpredictable response.  I was, after all, their guest, and here to observe as unobtrusively as possible.
We went home at closing time and I limped onto the couch, only to wake up five hours later to the sound of violent coughing.  A man’s voice in the other room said something frantic about “hacking up blood,” and “my doctor immediately.”  Contracting tuberculosis now would be an unbearable strain on my budget, but I was too tired to move, let alone vacate the premises.  Sleep with a belly full of ale is hardly sleep at all, and by now I was in need of at least sixteen solid hours to avoid the risk of public embarrassment.  Images of falling asleep in the street swirled in my head, with ugly visions of waking up later, bruised on a sidewalk with my pockets ransacked and carrots pilfered.  I shuttered at the thought and buried my face in the couch.
Today was my last day in the apartment, and the transfer of my luggage a mile across town to a new couch would commence at nightfall.  I knew little of my next two hosts, besides the fact that they were a few years out of college.  Hopefully they wouldn’t panic and call the police when I showed up on their doorstep—ragged, puffy, and red-eyed with an obvious intent to pass out as soon as possible.  “Yes, officer, a homeless addict of some kind is trying to get into our apartment.  We’ve barricaded ourselves in but he’s clearly too strung out to realize he’s not wanted.  No, we’re afraid that if we tell him, he’ll erupt in a fit of rage.  Yes, very disheveled.  Bring the dogs…”
Disaster would be probable without a few more hours of rest.  But just as despair began to sink in, Wilma suddenly emerged from her room.  She had the aura of an angel who’d been rained on, morosely granting my wish by stating that she was too ill for her morning classes, so go ahead, sleep in a little longer.  I did as she commanded, promptly conking out after quietly offering a prayer of thanks to fate’s more accommodating pathogens.
I came to a little before noon and rolled off the futon.  My joints ached and muscles seemed to require more effort to utilize than normal.  But my mind had straightened out, not lost in a pitiful soup of stress and confusion as before.  I packed up and left, wishing the roommate with the melting lungs good luck, and the same for dear Wilma with her seasonal cough.
The day hurled me from café to protest to elsewhere for more coffee and finally back again to another protest.  The below-freezing temperatures and on and off snow battered my stamina, but did little to erode the town’s energy versus the Governor.  On the contrary, it probably contributed to the success of the movement.  In warmer months people might be too busy planning vacations or enjoying rooftop margaritas to march around the Capitol for weeks on end.  Best to flood the streets with popular discontent in that long, dreary stretch between New Year’s Day and the vernal equinox when the holidays are scarce and the sky looks dead.
The ubiquity of winter attire probably reinforced a sense of solidarity among Wisconsinites as well.  To what extent this influenced politics it would be hard to say, but for the culture as a whole it seemed quite obvious.  Bundling up for the cold has a way of uniting people, as if the extra padding subconsciously convinces them that they’re more secure from physical harm, and thus less apt to shy away from strangers.  Even if some ghoul with a crowbar were to successfully knock you unconscious, the snow and ice makes a clean getaway twice as difficult, a deterrent not lost on most savages.
The plain heavy jackets worn by the townsfolk also functioned as a kind of uniform, eliminating fashion as a factor of division.  The most extravagant article of plumage on display was the common scarf, but even this was less noticeable than the plethora of political buttons, themselves hardly flamboyant.  Maybe rank superficiality would erupt in June when there would be more opportunity for exotic jean shorts and glamorous tube tops, but for now all were focused on more cerebral matters.
As for myself, fixating on imagery was the best I could do with a brain operating at partial capacity.  Puffy coats, compact development in the city center, a distant ice fishing tent on a lake, cracked sidewalks, a policeman on top of a building spying on demonstrators, leafless trees, a homemade sign in front of the Capitol saying the Governor gets in through the “steam vents”…observation was easy; processing less so.
After dark I dreamily lumbered to the address of my new hosts.  If they responded negatively to my arrival, say, by macing me from behind the door chain, there was little I could do.  Roll around on the porch for a few minutes before whimpering myself to sleep in the fetal position perhaps.  Surrender in agony to forces beyond my control…total capitulation right there on the welcome mat.  But as luck would have it, the door swung open and two smiling young women greeted me kindly.
I plopped my bags down in the corner and tried to stay awake as we introduced each other.  They had both gone to the same high school, accompanied each other on trips around the world, and even worked together at the same fairgrounds in another state.
“So you’re a couple of carnies?” I asked.
“No, we only worked there for a little while,” one replied.
“So you’re a couple of ex-carnies?” I persisted.
Carniefolk have a serious sense of community, they explained, and newcomers must pay ample dues in the form of time and devotion before being considered part of the clan.  If Debra, the shorter-haired of the two, had accepted the surprise offer of marriage as proposed by Henry, an ambitious operator of a dart-and-balloon kiosk, then she probably would have been officially inducted.  But she turned him down, later fleeing with her roommate Jane via bicycle to New England.
How they got sucked into working for one of the most swindler-dense institutions in America in the first place is a little hard to remember, mentally debilitated at the time as I was.  But it had something to do with them meeting an eccentric fellow at a bar who babbled to them about his fiancée, a middle-aged woman whose name he had recently tattooed onto his flesh.  He loved her so dearly that he took topless photos of her and turned them into postcards he was selling so that all could appreciate her beauty.  Somehow this guy was connected to the fair, and the rest is history.
“Wanna see the postcard?” Jane asked.
“Yes,” I replied.  “Yes I do.”
Jane went to her room and quickly returned.  The woman in the picture appeared to be about fifty, but a lifetime of excess could have aged her prematurely.  Early forties at the youngest, with a weathered face and charming smile.  She looked like she had been riding on the back of a motorcycle for most of her life before finally deciding she was ready to settle down.  Hopefully her new husband-to-be would treat her right, and in all likelihood he would, for the American flag he had incorporated into the picture was a clear indication that he was a man not without values.
“Some people are coming over in an hour,” Jane informed me.  “Are you hungry?  We’re going to make tacos.”
I sunk into the couch.  Apparently sleep would be against the rules for the next five hours, possibly longer.  As for the tacos, my withered belly was still resistant to anything more than the occasional breakfast carrot.  In fact, I had lost so much weight over the past few days that my pants kept sliding down on my way to the house.  So I helped them chop vegetables and drank tequila instead.
Soon the house was filled with about fifteen strangers, all pleasant and talkative, and indeed more so than myself, who kept murmuring questions in a lame attempt to be conversational.  The bathtub looked like a reasonable place to curl up, but the temporary upswing of the tequila proved sufficient to carry me forth until the conclusion of the party.  In the meantime I soaked up as much information as I could.
One beer-drinking fellow lamented that his renewable energy business was going to suffer the elimination of public subsidies from the state budget.  Solar power was fairly close to becoming cost-competitive with hydrocarbon energy, he said, and if subsidies could be kept in place a little while longer, manufacturers of green technology could develop economies of scale large enough to render further help from the taxpayer unnecessary.
A bummer, but apparently not enough of a bummer to kill his smile.  Twenty-somethings are difficult to demoralize in the presence of booze, tacos, and evenly balanced gender ratios.  One exceptionally descriptive guy got me excited about the medicinal properties of Albanian goat milk.  Others gushed about local bike trails in the summertime.  For all their distaste for Walker’s offenses, they were clearly more appreciative of life than dispirited by politics.
“Is there anything you wanna see before you head home?” one of them asked.
I thought for a moment, sipping on my tequila.  “The more locally significant the better,” I said.  “Whatever makes people who leave this place get homesick.  The symbol for which the diaspora yearns.”
“Ever had fried cheese curds?” Jane asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“What about a fish fry?”
“I’ve had fried fish,” I said.
She assured me that the fried food in question was a must for anyone seeking to experience Authentic Wisconsin.  Fried fish is just something you eat.  A fish fry is an institution.  And while fried cheese sounded like a perfect caricature of food that really shouldn’t be eaten, she made plain that these curds were in fact the pinnacle of Wisconsinite high culture.  We agreed to waddle up to a nearby trough the following evening.
Within a few hours the apartment had emptied out and I was asleep on another couch.  It was a respectable thing from the early seventies with brown and orange patterns and the faint smell of vintage musk.  When I woke up ten hours later I thanked it for its stubborn determination to survive at least six American presidencies—long enough to go from being in vogue, to tasteless, to so dated as to be coveted for its retro-symbolism.  Now it had provided my first full night of sleep in Madison, and although I was far from fully recovered and the strange oils in the cushions irritated my skin, I was grateful to be at least partially rejuvenated.
I spent the afternoon writing in a café that offered free coffee to protesters.  I did the honorable thing and paid for mine, but was flatly denied any kind of wrap or quiche.  This was an all-vegan establishment, the barista explained, and eggs certainly counted as dead animal protein.  I settled on black bean soup and went to work typing while doing my best to tune out the lo-fi garage rock screeching from the venue’s speakers.
By evening I left the auditory gravel behind and headed back to the house.  A crisp twilight set in as the day sunk behind the Capitol building to the west, past the stretch of railroad tracks leading to downtown in the distance.  Small industrial lots lined the rails, and what looked like a coal power plant softly released smoke into the darkening sky.  It was good to know Madison had some grit, and better still that I was about to wallow in deep-fried tradition.
Fish has always been abundant in Wisconsin, but the modern fish fry of today grew out of a jumbled mix of historical peculiarities specific to the region.  In the early years, waves of Catholic newcomers—particularly German but also Irish, Polish, and Italian—brought with them the religious practice of abstaining from eating land animals on Friday.  Local taverns and restaurants adjusted their menus accordingly, and soon even the Protestants were turning down liver and hog fat to take advantage of weekly deals.  When Prohibition came along, fried fish was served dirt cheap in many places as both a cover and a lure for the illicit sale of bathtub gin and whiskey smuggled from Canada.  Since then millions have made it a ritual to combine heavy drinking with profligate fish consumption every Friday.
The walleye was good, as was the ale, as were the cheese curds.  At one point I gave the cask beer a chance but quickly remembered why Britain is low on my vacation priority list.  If I had any affection for warm, flat beer, I’d make a regular point of opening six-packs in the morning and leaving them out on a table to stagnate in time for dinner.  The curds felt about as fattening going down as one could assume, but hypnotically appealed to some base part of my palate that mindlessly yearned for more.  I drew the line at one dish, which I shared with Debra, Jane, and the latter’s boyfriend, the three of whom whisked me away after dinner to a party down the street.
It was the birthday of one of their college friends, a young man turning 23 or so.  We met him in an old house filled with kids drinking cheap beer and liquor.  He was celebrating by ferociously strumming his guitar, a feat he sustained for several hours with nary a break to refuel.  Other guests had set up a hookah, discussing the issues of the day over a wobbly game of Jenga.  The damn thing kept crashing onto the table every time I touched it, so I drank vodka out of a mason jar to hone my focus.  When we finally left a spell of freezing rain broke out just in time to accompany us home.  I wasn’t wearing my boots and eventually slid and lost control of my doggy bag, sending my leftover fish into a half-frozen puddle.  I retrieved it, but not before slipping again and dealing my shoulder a rude introduction to the sidewalk.
I woke up the next day sometime around noon with blood on my face.  The dry winter air had finally cracked my nasal cavity, an ordeal I had so far avoided by chugging a liter of water every night before bed.  The dust from the building’s ancient ventilation system had finally tipped the balance, disabling my sense of smell and inspiring an urgent trip to the sink.
After stubbing my toe in the living room I looked into the mirror in horror.  A kid at the party had offered me a can of gutter beer, which I drank to be polite.  It had triggered an allergic reaction in my sleep, painfully swelling my eyes and lips.  Meanwhile contact with the orange couch had given me a rash across the side of my head.  The blood cleaned off easily but my skin was a strange feverish pink.  I suckled at the tap in a vain attempt to reverse the damage from the night before, then stubbed my toes again on the way back to the couch.
A little later Debra came out of her room and sat down on the other side of the coffee table.  I tried to fall back asleep before she could observe my hideous state, but she was eager to spend a lazy Sunday watching a movie and asked if I’d mind.
“As long as I can fall in and out of sleep while you play it,” I replied, hesitating to make eye-contact for fear of inspiring panic.  She seemed not to mind my deathly appearance, or at least hid her concern like a master of composure.
“Of course you can!” she said with a smile, firing up the television while I desperately tried to fall back asleep.
As it turned out my mind was just active enough to stay awake, but too debilitated to propel me out of the house.  Writing would be a pointless strain, and exploring the city was out of the question.  The day had finally come to suspend my ambition and recharge, so I spent the afternoon drinking water and dreamily bearing witness to Debra’s film.  It was a curious piece, about a pack of New York drag queens converting a Middle American country hamlet into an oasis of sass and flamboyance.  By the time the queens had won the day, I felt considerably better, and fried up my leftover puddle-fish in Debra’s George Foreman Grill.
That evening we lounged at Jane’s boyfriend’s apartment, eating duck and watching a documentary special on Caligula.  It was sublimely low-key, and I later went to bed appreciative that all were more interested in the Emperor who appointed his horse to high-office than my own visible infirmities.
The next day I went out to lunch with Debra, who showed me more of Madison.  She had fond memories of the Mifflin Street Block Party, an annual spring festival of sorts where participating houses open their doors to strangers and drunks roam the streets in a frenzy of jubilation.  The Party started in 1969 when students were denied permission to have a massive dance-protest against the Vietnam War.  Hippies love to prance, and this bunch was no exception, skipping around on Mifflin in defiance.  Soon the police were firing tear gas and the kids erected barricades, a conflict that went on for days leaving scores injured and over a hundred arrested.  The mayor at the time, William Dyke, made a name for himself by blithely suppressing the long-hairs, a poor political calculation in a town like Madison.  In 1973 he was unseated by one of the very students arrested in ’69, a humiliation he tried to overcome by later running for Vice President on a third-party ticket with segregationist fried chicken restaurateur Lester Maddox.
            Madison is probably a very different place in the spring, when the pent-up energies of winter can finally flow free from the constraints of snow and ice.  The Block Party serves as a focal point for seasonal catharsis, and for this reason the celebratory aspect of the event has outlived its revolutionary foundation.  These days it’s more about staggering between kegs than civil disobedience, though neither activity is entirely without merit.
            Debra walked me through the Mifflin neighborhood.  It looked nice, largely consisting of old three-story houses with balconies and broad porches.  The occasional Jolly Roger and string of Tibetan prayer flags marked it as a nest of college students, making it that much easier to imagine its natural transformation into a rowdy Midwestern Mardi Gras in two months’ time.
            As the sun set I broke off from Debra to go hang out with Wilma, the gracious host from a few days prior.  Debra had other engagements and I had already promised Wilma that I’d make an appearance at a show she was attending at the University.  After slogging my way to the campus, I ordered a pitcher of beer and listened to some indie band thrash about youthful angst, a group I had difficulty gauging as they had the misfortune of playing on a poorly amplified sound system.  Watching Wilma knock back a bottle of cough syrup and drift around the Capitol in a daze probably would have been more interesting, but she had already pulled the plug on that idea the day before.
She was an interesting creature, no doubt about it, but just as I was getting comfortable with the ambiance she informed me it was time for her midnight play, a strange musical number about a murderous transvestite.
            This was too grand a commitment for my taste, so I called it a night and walked the mile or so back to the house.  I slept soundly, and woke up in the morning intent on reentering the Capitol on my last full day in Wisconsin.  It had been emptied of protesters and signage since my last visit, but supposedly restrictions were to be lifted by 8am sharp.  When I got there the doors had at last been reopened, but the court order to “lift all restrictions” obviously meant something very different to Scott Walker than the demonstrators.
            Next to each entrance was an easel holding a sign listing prohibited items.  “Animals/snakes” were number one, followed by balloons, cooking equipment, tape, blankets, “signs or flags on sticks,” musical instruments (including buckets), and other threats to public safety.  The police weren’t regulating how many people could go in, but the security checkpoints remained.
This was something of a surprise to the locals, who had assumed that the building would revert to normal come Monday.  Only two weeks earlier anyone could wander in and out of the Capitol without even having to go through a metal detector.  Wisconsin’s long tradition of open government is enshrined in Article 1, Section 4 of the State Constitution, which states that “the legislature cannot prohibit an individual from entering the capitol or its grounds.”  The visitors fumed like the citizens of a country that had just lost its independence.
            A guard checking bags for snakes and blankets randomly offered a consolation:
            “We’re just making sure everything’s safe…”
            “You know damn well everything’s safe!” snapped the man in front of me.  Stunned, the guard lowered his head and said nothing.
            About fifty protesters were under the rotunda, alternating between chanting slogans and giving impromptu speeches.  Their presence nicely affirmed the vitality of the movement, but without the banners and posters that had previously covered the place, the environment felt incomparably more austere.  I took the opportunity to explore the raw interior, snapping pictures while men in uniforms leered at me.  It was impressive architecture, constructed in the heart of a city that was quite literally made for it.
            Madison was founded by an ambitious ex-judge in 1836, who figured the Wisconsin founding fathers could be easily persuaded to make it their permanent headquarters by virtue of its strategic location.  Situated between an important trading post, profitable lead mines, and the two biggest cities in the territory, certainly they would see the logic in choosing his site over any other.  He was wrong, and ended up having to bribe them with plots of land to convince them to set up shop in his new settlement.  A capitol building was quickly erected, but was replaced a few decades later on account of it being a ramshackle embarrassment.  The second one burned down in 1904 about a month after the legislature voted to cancel the building’s fire insurance.  The third remains to this day, three feet shorter than the US Capitol itself and easily accessible in the center of town.
            A bust of former Governor Robert La Follette stands on the second floor of the building, where the east wing meets the rotunda.  Probably the most popular governor in Wisconsin history, his outspoken support for labor made him a folk hero to generations after his death in 1925.  Some of the demonstrators had been carrying signs asking “What would Bob do?” though guessing wasn’t entirely necessary.  In his own words,
            
            America is not made.  It is in the making.  It has today to meet an impending crisis, as menacing as any in the nation’s history…If we should preserve the spirit as well as the form of our free institutions, the patriotic citizenship of this country must take its stand, and demand of wealth that it shall conduct its business lawfully…that it shall keep its powerful hands off from legislative manipulation; that it shall not corrupt, but shall obey the government that guards and protects its rights.  Mere passive citizenship is not enough.  Men must be aggressive for what is right if government is to be saved from those who are aggressive for what is wrong…the call comes to every citizen.  It is an unending struggle to make and keep government truly representative.
 
In other words, stay active or corporate power will infest government until its control is total.  His warning was all too prescient.  For the past few decades far too many had indulged in “mere passive citizenship.”  Now La Follette’s own Wisconsin was the last stand before the lines broke and the labor movement would have to be rebuilt virtually from scratch.  At their peak in the 1950s, trade unions represented 35% of the workforce nationwide, but had fallen to 11.9% by 2011.  With only 6.9% coverage in the private sector, the solid 36.2% of the public sector represented by unions was the backbone of labor movement.  De-unionizing state employees would smash the last significant pillar of support for a beleaguered middle class that’s seen a declining standard of living ever since Reagan began his sleepwalk through the White House thirty years ago.
The American Dream was good while it lasted.  Unions won living wages, 40-hour work weeks, paid vacations, sick leave, overtime, health insurance, retirement pensions, an end to child labor, and safer working conditions for millions.  The wave crested with the commencement of the Cold War, when anti-communist hysteria convinced labor leaders to root out the most idealistic voices from their ranks.  Thenceforth, organized labor would be dominated by conservatives willing to bend over backwards to appease employers and win over politicians, positioning themselves as moderates on the political spectrum rather than attempting to steer its direction.
Restricting oneself to defensive battles is no way to win a war, and that very losing strategy led directly to the mess in Wisconsin.  The unions had enabled their antagonists to chip away at their numbers for decades until a brazen governor finally appeared who figured he could walk all over them and probably get away with it.  With its back against a wall, the labor movement finally stirred to life, drawing tens of thousands out of the woodwork to participate in what many hoped would be more than the final twitch of a corpse on its way to be buried.
            After singing a round of “This Land Is Your Land” with the crowd in the rotunda, dozens more trickling in from the streets to join them, I left the Capitol for the last time.
I desperately needed to write, but the vegan café was still blasting discordant noise so I relocated back to the house.  Jane and Debra were preparing for a concert by playing music of their own, happily filling the air with lively dance beats.  I set up my laptop but kept catching myself typing the lyrics to whatever they played.  After about an hour they left, and I began to go over my notes.
Someone knocked on the outside door to the house but I ignored it, waiting for another tenet to come down the stairwell in the hall to greet their guest.  No one came.  The knocking persisted, so I finally got up myself, opening the door to find four police officers staring at me.
“Have you heard anything break tonight?” one of them asked.
“Uh, no,” I said.
“No shouting or yelling?”
“No.  Nothing.”
“K, have a good evening!” the woman in the group said, shooing me out of the hallway and back into Jane and Debra’s.
Much arguing commenced after the police went upstairs.  Some kind of domestic disturbance, with stern talk about someone “not being helpful” and grumpy voices insisting that there was “no problem here.”  With a plane to catch in the morning, the window for writing had closed.  I tried to go to sleep, but the door to the hallway had a crack in it large enough to see through and every word being exchanged upstairs was clearly understandable.  The cops interrogated a woman right in the hallway for hours, trying to figure out if she had beaten her kid.  In the end they seemed satisfied that no one had been hurt, and left just before my hosts returned home.
They went to bed relatively quickly, and I slowly dozed off.  Then a small group of drunken women suddenly barged into the building, laughing and falling over each other in the hall on the way upstairs to their apartment.  I jolted awake for a moment, but then shook it off and finally fell asleep.
I made it to the airport without much trouble, eating my last carrot on the way over.  After checking in, I handed my large backpack to a seven-foot tall TSA employee who appeared to have recently undergone a sex-change operation.  She flung my heavy luggage onto a conveyor belt like it was a pillow and told me “You’re good to go” with a voice far deeper than my own.
I found a seat in an empty corner of the airport, and began to write in blissful solitude.  A flight attendant came over with her toddler and sat down nearby.  The boy stood still about ten feet away, staring into space.  Then he plopped onto the floor and started to cry.  The attendant spotted a coworker and walked over to explain that it was “Take Your Child to Work Day,” leaving poor Junior in front of me pouting.  Two missionaries sat down to my right and started to chat, not thinking I’d mind, so I put away from laptop and fled for the tranquility of the newspaper stand.  Several hours later I finally made it home, but when I started to write the power went out in my neighborhood.
            It seemed like a weird dénouement to the week of history I’d lived.  Ill-health didn’t really hinder my mobility, and I saw everything I set out see, right?  Normal people realizing their own power, a deeper understanding of the social context behind the revolt, and unfiltered access to the facts on the ground as they developed...everything besides a sense of closure.
            Soon after I left Madison, reports started circulating that Scott Walker was on the verge of cutting a deal with the fourteen senate Democrats who had fled the state.  The pro-labor movement was winning.  But then something odd happened: the contentious anti-labor provision in Walker’s budget was taken out of the bill and rammed through the legislature separately.  Broadcast on live television, the bill’s passage was in flagrant violation of a procedural requirement called the Open Meetings rule.  Walker quickly signed the bill into law anyway, presumably aware of the strong chance that it would later be voided in court.
            It may be pointless to speculate, but in all likelihood the legislative Republicans panicked at the prospect of impending defeat, and deliberately sabotaged their own bill.  They could save face by simply blaming its eventual repeal on the judicial system, walking away without ever having to admit that they bowed to a historic remobilization of organized labor.
All conjecture, of course.  The bottom line is that the struggle for the rights of working people continues, and my sense of closure will probably not come anytime soon.  There was no decisive victory to celebrate from that unusually localized confrontation between privilege and justice, but there was no clear defeat either.  Something dormant had been provoked, and it fed on its own self-recognition.  After watching engaged citizens return day after day to a Capitol that didn’t want them, braving the cold when they could just as easily be ice fishing, I could say with certainty that whatever Scott Walker had awakened, it has the strength to endure.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Live From the Epicenter: Part II

 

On my first night in Madison I asked my host to describe the situation at the Capitol building.  “Saturday was huge,” she said.  “Since then the protests have been smaller, but they’re definitely continuing.  On Sunday they cleared the top levels of the rotunda, and today they restricted access to the building.  Do you drink?”
Yes, of this I am capable, but how did the authorities get the demonstrators to vacate?
“They told the people who’d been camping out on the ground level to wait upstairs while the janitors cleaned the floor.  When they finished they told everyone upstairs to wait on the ground level while they cleaned the second and third levels.  Then they wouldn’t let anyone go back upstairs.”
This was all in accordance with the Governor’s “boa constrictor” strategy of gradually killing off opposition to his budget bill through a campaign of steady demoralization.  Visible resistance to Walker’s plan began almost as soon as he formally unveiled it on February 11th, attracting enormous protests within a matter of days and inspiring hundreds to camp out inside the Capitol building.  In retaliation Joe the Plumber was brought in to lead a counter-demonstration, but his 4,000-strong idiot brigade was quickly laughed out of town by over 65,000 supporters of labor rallying on the same day.  Soon the most prominent resistance website was temporarily shutdown in suspicious circumstances, followed by a lame “fireside chat” by the Governor where he claimed that his bill wasn’t “aimed at state workers.”
My host, Betty, had agreed to let me use her apartment as a base of operations for a few days before she headed out of town later in the week.  She studied journalism at the University of Wisconsin, where her roommates also attended, and was happy to shelter someone observing developments in Madison as closely as she.  Though swamped with class work, her roommate Wilma evidently was not, offering to accompany me to the supermarket now that my bags had been safely deposited.
“You can’t buy alcohol at the store after 9pm here,” she informed me.  “After that you have to go to a bar or a restaurant.”
“Absurd,” I said.  “What about beer?”
“Beer, wine, you can’t get anything…”
Wisconsin’s history is as intertwined with alcohol as any other state in the union, from its earliest French traders swapping moonshine for exotic pelts from the natives, to later German settlers celebrating their conquest of nature by guzzling beer in grand halls where fun could be efficiently synchronized.  When Prohibition plunged America into darkness in the 20th Century, Wisconsin responded by producing a senator, John J. Blaine, who wrote the 21st Amendment to the US Constitution repealing the ban.  Today the state boasts the highest rate of binge drinking in the country while the powerful Tavern League of Wisconsin converts the dollars of its patrons into lobbying muscle to maintain the 9pm deadline.
Without the option of buying a courtesy six-pack for the house, I returned with a large bag of carrots to eat for breakfast throughout the week.  The girls forced some wine on me and told the epic tale of Wisconsin’s natural history, though not being much of a geologist to speak of I retained little of what was told.  Apparently thousands of years ago malicious glaciers invaded from their icy home world of pre-Canadian Canada, ravaging the land before finally melting into lakes.  Somehow this process made the northern part of the state flat and the southern part hillier, influencing soil conditions and mineral deposits, and by extension, future human settlement.
In all, a saga worth remembering but mostly lost in the noise of competing anecdotes.  One roommate’s father was a Midwest meat kingpin.  Arby’s and Tacobell are even worse than McDonald’s, she insisted, and the contents of a hotdog include things which shouldn’t be mentioned in mixed company.  Another roommate said that small amounts of pot were legal in the city.  Ordinance 23.20, passed in 1977, permits the individual possession of up to 28 grams of marijuana in a private place.  And proud was everyone of the German-style beer hall in the heart of the University campus.
Yet the University of Wisconsin-Madison should be celebrated for more than just its swill.  As one of the original land-grant colleges of the nineteenth century, it was built by the early Republican Party when the elite universities of the East Coast proved incapable of teaching anything beyond British-inspired “free trade” economics.  In those days Republicans didn’t take kindly to Ivy League anglophiles pontificating on the wonders of letting England manufacture everything while America remained an undeveloped backwater, so they bypassed the crackpot establishment and founded a national system of colleges that provided the technical training necessary for making the United States a self-sufficient economy.  Smelling anti-American socialism, Scott Walker targeted the UW-M in his 2011 budget with over $100 million in cuts and plans to remove the institution from the state university system entirely.
I asked what the layout of the city was in relation to the University, and Betty obliged with answers: “The University is on the west side, where the students live; the Capitol is in the middle, on the isthmus between Lake Monona to the south and Lake Mendota to the north; and the hippies live in the east.  Further east is the ghetto.”
Ghetto?  Nobody I talked to during my stay seemed to know much about this fabled slum, except to say that was where Spanish-speaking immigrants tended to live, concentrated in a city with an 84% white population.  The lack of diversity wasn’t entirely surprising for an inland state like Wisconsin, but for those of us who eat hot sauce and add food to it as a secondary consideration, the dominance of northern European cuisine in this fair city was noticeable.
Yet the kind of food on hand was largely irrelevant in any case, as without sleep I tend to eat little.  Over the next few days I failed to drift off for more than a few hours a night, a rough situation compounded by the brutal fact that I had only slept an hour the evening before I flew to Wisconsin.  Maintaining optimal health was essential to my mission, especially if I were to get anywhere near the deeper pulse of the town.  Any true analyst of social ferment will tell you the action is where strangers mingle, and here that was clearly at the bar over pints or at the Capitol waving pitchforks.  I would need my strength to participate much in either.
The show had to go on, and I dragged myself out of the living room and into the wild streets of Madison every brisk morning.  My hosts were exceptional in their graciousness but had one incontestable rule: vacate the apartment when they weren’t around.  This was perfectly understandable, for not every blurry-eyed young male claiming to be a free-lance writer is trustworthy.  The possibility of a guest inviting a dozen anonymous low-lives into the house to whip up some crank while they were away was very real, and one they did well not to disregard.  As it turned out I had no mischievous designs of any sort to unleash, but in my fealty to their will was never able to sleep-in long enough to become fully rested.
After showering, dressing, and stuffing my sleeping bag into my backpack, the typical morning would consist of me dashing out of the house with a handful of carrots up West Washington Avenue to the Capitol.  Most people who eat in the morning are in the habit of easing their stomachs awake with soft food—eggs, oats, hash browns, yogurt, etc—but after years of experience I can say with certainty that when time is of the essence, nothing calibrates a freshly wakened body like raw plant matter.  No wave of lethargy creeps up as would follow a meal laden with protein, and with history unfolding quickly, I could ill-afford to be sluggish.
The day before I arrived the internet hacking group “Anonymous” launched a cyber attack against Americans for Prosperity, a right-wing propaganda organ created and funded by the same billionaire Koch brothers who bankrolled Scott Walker’s run for Governor.  The AFP website was brought down for about a day in a coordinated denial of service attack, a tactic which drew attention to the power behind Walker’s throne but risked derailing the carefully crafted narrative of reasonable workers versus ruthless Republicans.  If the Wisconsin story turned into one of left-wing hooligans battling the forces of Law and Order, then the attack could play right into the Governor’s hands.  In any case the blip in the headlines generated by Anonymous’ stunt lasted only about a day, and the pro-labor forces active in Madison were too preoccupied with maintaining a physical presence in and around the State Capitol to seem to notice.
The strategy of the demonstrators was one of extreme maturity, and obviously influenced by recent events in Egypt.  When government thugs proved incapable of driving pro-democracy crowds out of downtown Cairo, aging dictator Hosni Mubarak sent in the army to clear Tahrir Square, only to have the protesters win over the military’s rank-in-file by publicly thanking them for their “protection.”  Likewise, the demonstrators in Madison chanted “thank you, thank you” whenever the police were mentioned, a technique that kept the authorities reluctant to break the skulls of the assembled rabble.
That the crowd was largely middle-aged workers—firefighters in their gear, janitors holding up mops, and others with signs stating their trade union affiliation—made it especially difficult to bait the protesters as “useless hippies” who deserved to be taught a lesson.  It would be easy to sneer at angry students waving signs about “revolution this” or “imperialism that,” but much trickier when the people look a lot like yourself and are simply demanding the same bargaining rights you enjoy as a cop.  The demonstrations at the Capitol were entirely on-message, with nary an irrelevant pet issue being promoted or fringe political sect trying to hijack the spotlight.
Eyes were firmly set on the prize: remove the anti-union provision from the budget bill.  While most everyone agreed that the entire bill stunk like burning garbage, they knew the fourteen Democratic senators obstructing its passage could only hold out if their demands were minimal.  An awful budget was inevitably going to pass, complete with sell-offs of public resources and deep cuts to popular programs.  Stripping public employees of their rights, however, obviously had nothing to do with the budget and would be a tough sell in the court of public opinion.  The longer the “Fab 14” remained in hiding, the more voters across the state and country would become aware of Governor Walker’s true nature as a mean-spirited ideologue, and the less viable his career and the position of the entire Wisconsin Republican Party would become.
Walker’s big State Budget Address was to be delivered inside the Capitol on Tuesday at 4pm.  In response to the heavy restrictions on visitors put in place on Sunday, Dane County Judge Daniel Moeser issued a temporary restraining order to open the Capitol on Tuesday.  The Department of Administration, headed by Walker-appointee Mike Huebsch, countered this by simply claiming that the building was indeed “open” and had been all along.  The lock-down continued, enforced so rigorously that a team of firefighters was denied entry when trying to respond to an emergency call.  Eventually they were allowed in, rescuing a policeman stuck in an elevator.  Meanwhile, a handful of frustrated Democrats moved their desks outside to meet with their constituents in the snow.  When it became apparent that the building was going to remain closed no matter what, County Sheriff Dave Mahoney withdrew his deputies in disgust, saying they weren’t there to be a “palace guard.”
Walker seemed a little bit nervous when making his speech, like he was afraid the whole chamber would start booing and chase him out of the room, but he soldiered on and unveiled his strange vision anyway.  Healthcare spending was to be gutted while money was to be pumped into a new statewide agency with the power to award subsidies to businesses.  Breaking teachers’ unions was going to give school districts greater “flexibility” over their budgets at the same time local tax rates were to be “locked-in” at a fixed rate.  He also kept referring to his anti-union budget provision repeatedly as a “tool,” which I suppose is accurate in the same way that a set of brass knuckles is also a “tool.”
The hard core of the protesters who never left the Capitol rotunda chanted and banged away on plastic buckets while the speech went on in the other room, trying to make as much ruckus as possible to remind the Republican legislators that they couldn’t hide from the public completely.  Outside, where I was embedded with an angry mob of several thousand, the crowd kept chanting “Let us in!  Let us in!” and pounded on the doors of the building for about an hour.  After a while a young woman came out and said “They can hear you inside!  Keep it up!”  Finally the crowd marched around the building to its various entrances, leaving hundreds of hand-scrawled messages on post-it notes denouncing Walker.
            The energy of these people cannot be overstated.  Events were planned for every day of the week, and in the long hours before and after the scheduled protests, about a hundred people remained assembled at the east end of the Capitol.  At any given time small clusters of union supporters were walking around town, holding their signs up to their chests in a deliberate way so that onlookers could read them.  I overheard a man saying to his friend “I’ve been driving into town to help for a couple of hours every day since this thing started” while an elderly woman in a wheelchair had a sign in her lap reading “96 years old and angry enough to protest.”
I dropped into an Irish pub adjacent to the Capitol Square one afternoon and found myself in a nest of thick-necked union guys talking about the situation over beer, their signs propped up against the bar.  A couple of large semis brought in by the Teamsters were parked down the block, where two surly-looking truck drivers stood waving at traffic.  The pro-labor people had dramatically altered their daily routines to participate in something profoundly meaningful, and the shared sense of justice with which total strangers had come together was of a warmth and authenticity more persuasive than all of the flimsy counter-arguments desperately pushed by the Governor.
In contrast to the prevailing spirit of popular optimism, on Wednesday the Republican Senate passed a resolution fining the missing Democratic senators $100 each day until they returned.  It was a petty move, reinforcing the Republicans’ image as a gang of vicious bullies.  The following day they turned it up a notch and voted to hold the Democrats “in contempt of the Senate” if they didn’t return by 4pm, directing the Senate’s Sergeant-at-Arms to take “any necessary step” to retrieve them, including using the state police force.
This tantrum coincided with another attempt to kick the last of the protesters out of the Capitol.  On Thursday the police claimed to have found “live ammunition” scattered outside the building, and state attorneys arguing before Dane County Judge John Albert said the protesters inside should be ejected as part of a “security sweep.”  The Department of Administration also told the court that it would cost $7.5 million to repair the damage caused by the demonstrators, a number later revised down to $350,000 and made largely moot by the International Union of Painters and Allied Trades District Council 7’s offer to fix any damage for free.
I managed to get inside the rotunda on Thursday before any ruling was reached.  Throughout the week, visitors could only enter as others left, thus regulating the number of protestors in the building at a constant low level.  I stood in line for about half an hour while some guy calling himself the “King of the Hobos” addressed the nearby crowd at the east end of the building.  A Don Imus look-alike in a black cowboy hat with a guitar got inside just before I did, where we both went through a security checkpoint about two degrees less invasive than the screening process at an airport.  The cops bent over backwards to be as friendly to us as possible, perhaps in part because off-duty police were among the visitors.
Signs were taped up everywhere, on the walls and pillars of the ground floor and dangling from the balconies up above.  One of the most prominent was a white bed sheet with the words “TAX THE RICH” painted on it, while other posters promoted specific trade unions or simply listed what Republican campaign contributors to boycott.  An “Information Center” was handing out pamphlets and a long desk was loaded with free food.  I grabbed a piece of pie but was quickly scowled at by a young woman who ambushed me with as accusatory a “hi” as one can imagine.  The pie had a strange Nutella-esque filling but looked pretty lonely so I ate it anyway and continued my tour.
The whole scene was multi-generational, but a hippie vanguard of a couple dozen college-aged kids were the most active, hanging out in the center of the floor making signs and constantly beating on plastic buckets.  The Don Imus guy from earlier thankfully interrupted them with a political song on his guitar, a simple melody that I’m sure the security people appreciated for its lack of percussion.  When he finished everyone started chanting “Kill the bill!  Kill the bill!” and the plastic bucket ensemble resumed.  A never-ending drum circle is as harsh a weapon as they come, but if there was ever an appropriate time and place for one to be deployed, it was surely in that rotunda, targeting that legislature, in the arduous winter of 2011.
After about a half an hour I had reached my limit and fled the premises.  The New Orleans-style “Funeral March for Wisconsin" that was about to begin struck me as much more palatable, with infinitely better music.  Several thousand people gathered at the University, mostly dressed in black and many carrying coffins, and proceeded to march up State Street to the steps of the Capitol.  I embedded once again, right behind the brass band, and took note of the workers cheering from rooftops as we passed.  There was only one negative reaction I could find anywhere, an angry college student yelling at us from his second-story apartment.  No one seemed to notice him as his shouting was drowned out by the chanting and music.  He tried to lean out his window but was too dumb to figure out how to remove the screen, frantically clawing at it to no avail and bending its metal frame in the process.
We finally got to the west entrance of the Capitol and listened to some guy in a black top hat deliver a eulogy for Wisconsin.  Two enterprising protesters dressed as alpine demons climbed up on lamp posts behind him, blowing ram horns and staring over everyone like a couple of gargoyles.  During a subsequent speech one of the doors to the building suddenly swung open, and a grinning woman leaned out to beckon people inside.  Scores of demonstrators bum-rushed the entrance, but after a few minutes and much confusion, it was solemnly announced that some medical assistance was needed indoors, and no, it was probably not a good idea to physically storm the building.
While all of this was going on, Judge John Albert finally made his ruling.  Stating the unions “need to be commended for their conduct [in] the largest expression of free speech...in the history of our state,” he ordered all restrictions on visitors to the Capitol to be lifted by 8am Monday.  However, he said the protesters had to be out after closing time, 6pm that night, and further sleepovers were prohibited.  The protesters complied and declared victory, ending their seventeen-day occupation of the State Capitol.
In an ominous twist, when Democratic Representative Nick Milroy tried to enter the building that evening, a security guard wasted no time tackling him to the ground.  The whole episode was recorded on camera by a local ABC affiliate and ended with Milroy’s shoe coming off and him angrily waving his ID at the officer.  It was an unsettling note on which to end that phase of the continuing conflict, as if to serve as a stern reminder of just who was really in charge.  While the people of Madison had their unity and principles to guide them to victory, Scott Walker still had the machinery of government to block them.  With no end in sight to the unfolding drama, I hoped for the best, but braced myself for the worst.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Live From the Epicenter: Part I


           The large brick buildings of urban Wisconsin are the most prominent features of this otherwise flat landscape.  They stand faded, sturdy, and tall over bare deciduous trees and cracked pavement, dimly lit up at night by sparse fluorescent lighting faintly flickering within.  Other structures are more neglected, completely dark with boarded up windows and For Lease signs out front reminding the visitor that all is not well in the Badger State.
Much has transpired since Wisconsin acquired statehood in 1848, from the collapse of soil-depleting wheat cultivation and its replacement by dairy farming, to the rise of an influential labor movement and its harsh fall into powerlessness.  The land of Progressive champion Robert La Follette later spawned the deranged Joe McCarthy, who frothed and hollered on national television that sanity itself was a Communist conspiracy.  McCarthy was eventually censured by his fellow Senators and slunk off to drink himself to death a few years later at the age of 48, marking a temporary return to normalcy for a state justifiably known for the reasonable temperament of its people.  Decades later, a strange belch of Crazy has bubbled up to the surface once again, in the form of a new Governor and his frantic attempts to turn Wisconsin into a low-wage playpen for big business.
            A general revulsion with America’s reigning institutions has steadily metastasized over the years, and how this pent up frustration is expressed is often contradictory.  Eight years of Bush fouled America’s appetite for fear and apocalyptic fantasy, compelling the electorate to give the keys to a hopeful new President who could spell and even read.  This quickly became tiresome and two years later voters rebelled again, electing a wave of Republican candidates promising to lower unemployment by firing public employees.  In Wisconsin the fickle electorate voiced their discontent by installing a mild-mannered son of a preacher in the Governor’s mansion.
            How Scott Walker became Governor I have yet to fully discover, as most of the people with whom I’ve spoken attribute his rise to some powerful force independent of his unremarkable character.  To the people here in Madison he is a cheap hack, a throw-away puppet at the beck and call of the super-rich who climbed out of the same bottomless cloning vat as every other bland Republican errand boy.  While liberal Madison can perhaps be dismissed as unreflective of statewide sentiment, Wisconsin as a whole is reliably blue, with Democrats enjoying an 18% advantage over Republicans in party affiliation among adults.
            So how did a guy like Walker slither into the highest office of a state like Wisconsin?  A college drop-out with a career in sales and marketing, prior to his stint in public office his most notable achievements were attaining the rank of Eagle Scout and losing a student body election at Marquette University after being caught repeatedly violating campaign rules.  Failing in his first race for State Assembly in 1990, he moved his family to a heavily Republican exurb outside Milwaukee and won a newly created Assembly seat on a platform opposing mass transit.  When a scandal involving the county pension fund forced the Democratic Milwaukee County Executive from office in disgrace, Walker smelled blood and won the position in a special election in 2002.
I caught a glimpse of the unenviable condition Scott Walker left the county when taking a bus west from the airport in Milwaukee to the state capitol of Madison.  “Badger Bus,” as this cold and slow service is known, was the only public route connecting the airport to my destination, a sad fact that will probably remain in place for the foreseeable future as Governor Walker has rejected federal money to connect the two cities with high-speed rail.  Snaking through a couple of stops in downtown Milwaukee and then out through the surrounding area, shuttered industrial facilities and unused smoke stacks abound, and by the dearth of parked cars and pedestrians, one can easily see that the city is well past its prime.  From a peak of around 750,000 in the 1960s, the population has declined to about 600,000 today, owing to the region’s steady deindustrialization and the gradual relocation of its middle class to the suburbs.
Walker’s plan to address the plight of Milwaukee as County Executive consisted of little more than destroying the functions of the county government itself.  After laying off parks personnel, janitors, and social workers, he also took to funding public pensions with borrowed money so he could make good on a promise not to raise taxes, deferring the issue for future politicians to deal with.  Yet he also gave back large portions of his own salary to the county, a neat gimmick that won him praise as “fiscally responsible” and overshadowed his devastation of county services.
Leaving Milwaukee in ruins, Walker has big plans for Wisconsin.  Phase One has already been accomplished: a large package of tax cuts for businesses, exploding the state’s projected deficit for the 2011-2013 period.  Phase Two is the more interesting part: closing the existing deficit by slashing health and pension benefits for public employees, and inserting provisions into the budget bill that strip state workers of nearly all of their power to bargain collectively.  The bill also gives the Governor emergency power to alter public health spending and allows him to sell off public utilities without a competitive bidding process.  Presumably the state’s power plants will end up in the hands of his campaign contributors, particularly Koch Industries, which has already begun recruiting new plant managers for work in Wisconsin.
Wisconsinites seem to be taking this about as well as one can imagine, flooding their capitol with tens of thousands of disgruntled state employees, students, and sympathetic private sector workers who understand that an injury to one is an injury to all.  Teachers briefly went on strike and Walker has threatened to bring out the National Guard to settle the matter if need be.  For their part the unions have agreed to completely surrender on the matter of benefit cuts but are unwilling to give up their bargaining rights.  Walker won’t budge and all fourteen of Wisconsin’s Democratic state senators have fled to Illinois to prevent a vote on the budget until he compromises.
The Governor is becoming more hated by the day, and Americans oppose weakening public sector unions by a margin of almost two to one.  Though time will tell if the protesting workers or the Republicans will prevail in the end, so far the unions are successfully making their case, according to Pew Research out-polling Walker in Wisconsin by a margin of eleven points.  A campaign to recall multiple Republican state senators is just getting off the ground, further turning up the heat on the Governor’s allies.
And at least in Madison, where I’m currently holed up with a front row seat to the future of American labor, the mood is resolutely anti-Walker.  Signs supporting state employees are in the windows of businesses across the city while talk in pubs and cafés buzz with contempt for the Republicans.  Perhaps most tellingly of all, the Governor was recently booed out of a local restaurant by a crowd of angry patrons.  With any luck, Scott Walker will meet the same fate as Joe McCarthy: defeated for his brazen political overreach and exposed for the crude charlatan that he is.  Over two weeks into this dispute and counting, all eyes are on Wisconsin’s capitol.  We shall see.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Rhubarb Pie



Pie has a civilizing effect on people.  Mash a hot slice into the toothless mouth of a howling wino and they'll instantly relax and pledge to bathe immediately.  Force-feed a morsel to a crooked banker and they'll never securitize another stated income loan again.  The guys at the shooting range will switch their bullets from lead to copper, fools will read, readers will exercise, and dogs will grow thumbs.  Pie is the brain tonic of baked goods, for its peerless grace will always inspire, even after you've frantically licked your plate clean like a rabid baboon.

While its consumption does wonders for the gobbler, the physical preparation of pie edifies the culinarian even further.  Our fast-paced world of marketing hustlers and canned sandwiches is relentless in its attempt to erase the personal touch of the small craftsman, forever pushing speed and comfort over thoughtful complexity in its race to sell as much cheap slop as possible.  Before long dinner will be piped into every household through a national system of pneumatic tubes, delivering canisters of hot, vitamin-enriched melted cheese at the hour of your choosing, all for a reasonable monthly fee paid electronically to AmeriTrough Inc, a Halliburton-Kraft Foods joint venture.  The sifting, cutting, mixing, rolling, and baking that pie production entails is revolutionary in its antagonism towards this dismal trend.

One can also trace the evolution of Western civilization by following the development of pie from its origins in antiquity.  Though stuffing bread with assorted ingredients had been practiced for centuries, the Greeks were the first to combine fat with flour to make pastry crust as we know it today.  Usually filled with meat, these primitive pies were eaten on epic sea voyages celebrated for their heroism, violence, death, and glory.  Baking in Athens was the work of female slaves, whose daily toil provided for a vast intellectual class that leisurely theorized about democracy and ethics.  The Romans picked up where the Greeks left off, adding various spices to the pies they brought to Europe via their expansive highway system, establishing law and order as they went through savage barbarian lands courageously plundering everything in sight.

The barbarians had the last laugh, however, and by the time the Empire had collapsed into ruin, the isolated communities of Europe were left to carry on the legacy of pie as local circumstances dictated.  The strange and inbred nobility of the medieval era took time out from killing each other to cram everything from dead birds to organ meats into pie shells, which were often used as tough, disposable casings for the real meal inside.  The crusts were thrown out and gathered by local church officials to give to the poor, who in turn thanked Providence for the half-eaten scraps and the fortuity of being lepers in so charitable a dungeon.

Eventually a small religious sect in England, where the word pie was first recorded, decided to take their baking skills to America, where they discovered that filling pies with the native berries of their new environment was almost as much fun as lighting people on fire.  Pie culture reached its peak in 1909, when Ben Turpin made history as the first person on film to be hit in the face with a pie.

To continue the march of human progress you'll need the following:

2 1/3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup rendered lard*
6 tablespoons cold water
4 cups rhubarb
1 2/3 cups sugar
2 tablespoons butter

Preheat over to 400 degrees.  Slice rhubarb into 1-inch pieces.  Combine with sugar, 1/3 cup flour and a dash of salt.  Toss until well-mixed.  Let stand for fifteen minutes.

Meanwhile, sift two cups of flour and one teaspoon of salt into a large bowl.  Cut room temperature lard into the sifted flour with two knives or a pastry blender until the lard is reduced to the size of small peas.  Sprinkle one tablespoon of water over a small area of the mixture, toss with a fork, and push to the side of the bowl.  Repeat until all of the water is used and the mixture is thoroughly moistened.  Form into two balls.  Flatten each ball with the edge of your hand on a lightly floured surface until about a 1/2-inch thick, then roll until 1/8-inch thick.  Put one pastry into a 9-inch pie tin, cut the other into strips.  Fill the tin with the rhubarb mixture.  Divide butter into eight small pieces and distribute evenly across the top of the filling.  Crisscross pastry strips across the top of the pie, about one inch apart, pinching the ends into the edge of the lower pastry.  Bake for 50 minutes.  Makes one pie.

Now your kitchen has reached maturity.  The very nature of pie making is authentically meditative, for the baggage of life's distractions are naturally discarded when the mind is focused on chores of the present.  Ego sheds itself as one suspends obsession with past follies and future challenges, redirecting mental energy to completion of the task at hand.  Following through to its sweet conclusion empowers the spirit with the reminder that tangible victories, however small, are indeed attainable.  By the time the pie is out of the oven your brain will have repatterned itself upon a foundation of selfless devotion to process and diligent finesse.  May every kitchen serve as an incubator for insight and a base for the reclamation of our fading culture.


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*Vegetable shortening can be substituted for lard in a pinch, but lard is vastly superior.  Vegetable shortening won't make your pie nearly as flaky and is often derived from hydrogenated vegetable oils, which contain trans fats.  Lard is often bleached or treated with chemical preservatives, so be sure to buy leaf lard, the least porky tasting hog fat on the market and least likely to be laden with chemicals.  If you can't buy rendered leaf lard, you're going to have to render it yourself, by following these simple instructions:

Cut about two and half pounds of fat into 1/2-inch cubes.  Remove any visible chunks of pig tissue.  Place into a large pot, add about 1/2 cup of water.  Simmer for about one hour, stirring regularly.  By then the water should have evaporated and the fat will be melting.  Bits of tissue will start to form and float to the top.  When these "cracklings" drop to the bottom of the pot, turn off the stove and strain out the cracklings by pouring the liquid fat through a mesh sieve into jars or a metal bowl.  Allow the rendered lard to cool until white and solid, several hours or overnight.  Now bask in the thick scent of your freshly porkened house.